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| 2009 |
We're 4 years old!!!
So that statement probably doesn't make much sense to you if you don't know me very well, but what I mean is that yesterday was My Boy and my 4 year anniversary. It's funny how these things sneak up on you. One day you're nervously getting ready in your dorm room to go out on a first date with your best friend and the next you're a working adult talking on the phone while you commute to work and planning out your Anniversary celebration for the coming weekend. Its amazing how quickly time flies when you're having fun! Meeting this boy has really changed my life in so many wonderful ways and I thank God for sending me such an amazing companion. I can't imagine my life without him!
In honor of our 4 year anniversary, here are 4 lessons that I've learned from My Boy:
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| 2010 |
(1)
It's OK to be silly! I've always been a pretty serious person. I think part of it has always been due to being very introverted and shy (two different things by the way, but I'll get to that later). I've never been very comfortable with being silly around other people. My Boy has taught me the amazing lesson that there are times when it is not only OK to be silly, it is necessary! I know when he reads this he's going to laugh because I'm constantly saying and doing ridiculous things in front of him and immediately saying "I didn't use to act like this before I met you! What have you done to me!" but we both know I love it.
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| 2011 |
(2)
Sharing is Caring! Somewhere along the lines I got the idea that when it came to friendship, being agreeable was the key. I would consider myself a pretty laid back and easygoing person and I like just about everything, so letting other people pick where to go to dinner, what movie to watch, what to talk about, etc. just seemed natural to me. Letting other people's opinions be more important than my own always seemed to make them happy (aka make people like me) and I usually didn't not like what they suggested so going along with people made sense. I'm not by any means saying that my friends are inconsiderate or anything, quite the opposite! My friends have always been wonderfully supportive and caring and I always enjoy every minute that I spend with them. It's just that somewhere along the lines I developed this habit of not having opinions about things and just going along with what other people liked. When My Boy and I started dating, an amazing thing happened, when he would ask me questions about what I wanted and I would turn the question around at him he would just turn it back to me. Instead of accepting my "I'm not sure, what would you like? Lets do what you want to do?" he would turn it back at me with a "No, we're going to do what you want to do. What would you like? What would make you happy? Today you have to make the decisions." Through his gentle persistence I learned the lesson that not only am I encouraged to have opinions, It's a requirement to a healthy relationship! I've learned to share my interests with him and he shares his with me. And it's amazing to see how each of us sharing what we think and know and love even when those things are sometimes different, actually brings us closer together.
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| 2012 |
(3)
Communication is Key! As I previously mentioned, I'm pretty introverted, so I tend to keep my thoughts and feelings to myself. And right here my sisters are laughing because they know I can be a big drama queen when I put my mind to it. I know, I know, I'm a Marianne. But when it comes to people outside my family and close friends, and quite honestly, most of the time within my family and close friends, I tend to keep my feelings and thoughts to myself. While this may work out OK in friendships, it can turn into tension in relationships when one person closes up and shuts out the other. Even though My Boy is also very quiet and introverted he's always been very good in our relationship about stressing the importance of communication. Something that never really occurred to me was that the other person isn't going to know what you want if you don't tell them, and part of being in a relationship is learning to listen to each other's needs. Not only do you not have to handle everything alone, you're not supposed to!
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| 2012 |
(4)
Love doesn't have to be work! Before I met My Boy, I didn't have too much experience with relationships but from the limited experience that I did have, I learned the lesson that relationships are about constantly working to hide your flaws, showering the other person with attention and affection (even if they completely take you for granted), and above all, never making a mistake. I learned that love (romantic love) is reserved for those whose makeup looks perfect, who never say the wrong thing, and who always dress like a model and act like the life of the party. Luckily, My Boy came along just in the nick of time to save me from my self destructive spiral and help me to
unlearn all of these so called lessons and learn the truth. Real love doesn't require you to put on an act or work your butt off to be something you're not (physically or emotionally, although for me it was mostly emotional torture...I have a lot of feelings guys). When you love someone you love them FOR who they are, not in spite of who they are. When My Boy and I first started dating, I was a mess. I was exhausted from putting on a forced persona of cheerfulness and perfection but without that mask I was too self conscious and down on myself to go out in public. There were literally days (only once or twice because they were so traumatizing) when I didn't wake up early enough to go through my whole hair and makeup routine before class (which took about an hour and a half by the way) and I was too embarrassed of myself to look people in the eye. I would walk around all day on the verge of tears, looking at my shoes and hoping that no one would notice me because without the makeup and without the time to blow dry my hair and pick out the perfect clothes and jewelry and perfume to hide behind, I didn't believe I was worth talking to anymore. When My Boy and I started dating he had the privilege of witnessing one of those days. The funny thing was that where I looked in the mirror and saw only my flaws, he looked at me and saw a person, finally! When he got up the courage to casually bring up that he thought I looked prettier without the makeup I was stunned. Since that day I rarely wear makeup. Its mostly reserved for special occasions or the occasional day when I'm really tired and want something to pep me up for work. I've learned my lesson though, and many more lessons besides. When I was forcing it and faking it and trying so hard to be perfect, he somehow managed to see through it all and to love me out of my fears and into myself. Since we've been together, I say a lot more idiotic things, I make bad jokes, I have bad hair days and breakouts and sometimes I wear clothes that don't match. I openly read and love sci fi novels and I'd rather watch a Muppet movie than college basketball (blasphemy, I know). I've also been more free, more myself, and happier than I've ever been!
When I think about 4 years I can't believe it's been that long already, but when I think about the time spent with My Boy, I can't believe that in only 4 years he's taught me so much and we've grown up so much together. I love you Mine
